I’m a proud mother of two boys and we are just beginning our Covid-Modified football season. My son George is a senior this year and my baby boy Isaac is a freshman, and both boys are on the high school football team. For some reason I develop serious anxiety about the football games. Not about injuries or the obvious things but anxiety about what defeat is doing to my children mentally, the pressure to perform, the duty of care, the critique, the heckling. I know this is all necessary to grow and become men, but I swear I would bear the burden for my babies if I could.
This got me to thinking. They are growing up so fast and moving on with their own lives. I’m such a momma bear and take my role of caring for them very seriously, almost to the point of babying them at times. So what, nobody ever died because they were loved too much so I will keep on being mommy. Real talk though, I do want my boys to grow into men that can survive on their own and eventually be good husbands one day so George and I started thinking of things we want to make sure they know before they leave the nest. We are even planning to create a crash course to be sure they pass them all. Give us a shout if your list looks similar!
Well-Being and Reputation
1. God and Faith
First things first, we are a Christian household and although we may not be front row center in church every Sunday, we do believe Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior. My whole house believes that, and we have never shoved faith down our kids throat but we sure let them know how everything in our lives is centered around God. We preach hope, patience, humility, sacrifice, love, and praise of him.
2. Trust Your Gut
We’ve always taught them to listen to those gut feelings and reactions because they are usually right. If you get a weird vibe from the company of someone, leave their company. It can save your life.
3. Follow Your Dreams
As a parent we tend to be extremely cautious and really try and teach our young to avoid making the same mistakes we’ve made. In doing that, we often guard them to a point that we put a damper on the hopes and dreams they may have. I make it my business to tell them my experiences so they are aware but remind them that this is a different day and age so what works for me may not work for them. We are sure to support any dreams they have but also encourage them to have a back-up plan just in case those dreams are actually a nightmare.
4. Manners and How to Speak to Adults
I know sometimes kids have a whole different personality when they are out of your presence, but I can’t stress to my boys enough that they show respect, especially in the presence of adults. We tell them all the time that they are not only representing themselves, they are representing our family so DON’T EMBARRASS ME!
Money
5. Budget
Lawwwwwwddd please teach your kids about budgeting! You may never be extremely wealthy but if you budget, you can have ANYTHING you want! This helps them make plans, practice patience, and understand the value of a dollar. Now as a parent, I do spoil my boys occasionally, but I do not tolerate spoiled behavior. I once removed new tennis shoes from my kid’s feet in the store because he was feeling himself too much. I let him walk in his socks for a while to understand that he is not guaranteed anything, especially with the attitude he had at the time. Teach them what it takes to run a household and how its sometimes ok to have only $20 in your pocket, especially if all your bills are paid.
6. Credit
I started the credit talks uber early! I had to! I remember being 18 years old, no job, Georgia Southern college student, and while I was buying books at the bookstore, I had my first credit experience. They drew me in, and I bought pizza and everything that Wal-Mart had to offer. Nobody tells you that someday you may not have the money to pay and it can ruin your credit for years. Put your kids up on game yall! Let them know what to look for and help them understand how this thing works.
Survival
7. Safety
Having boys, they sometimes think they know everything…… I’m sure you other parents can relate. I constantly tell them to pay attention to the company they keep and their surroundings. They’re young and seem to think they are invincible so I must remind them that things happen really fast and sometimes a minor oversight can cost years of pain. We use stories on the news and current events as teachable moments. I tell them like my Dad always told me, keep your head on the swivel.
8. Car Care
Georgie just started driving so we are going overboard with being safe while behind the wheel and making sure he is hip to all the little lights and sounds that show-up on your dashboard. Anything from changing a tire, checking fluids, oil changes, and tire pressure. We’re in the midst of it right now.
9. Cooking
I cook most of our meals in the house, but I want my boys to at least be able to cook a simple meal for themselves. I want them to understand the basics so they’re not spending all their money on fast food and junk. Especially when their money is tight.
10. Hygiene
Please check on your Boy Mom friends! We are not ok!! I can’t understand how their bodies make the smells they do!!! OMG!! I’m the only girl in the house and I am forever yelling about how they function when it comes to hygiene. I have even started sharing my routines with them, so they get accustomed to taking care of their bodies in the right way. My goodness It’s unbelievable! What I don’t want is their wives looking at me with the side eye because they’re grooming habits are like wild beasts.
11. How to Play Spades!
Finally, please teach your kids how to play spades. Don’t set them up like I was. You can go on any college campus and spades seems to be one of the favorite past times. Well, I learned the hard way. I was that kid that didn’t know anything about it. I was treated like the plague. My darling husband snatched my spades bandage off one day and figured he’d teach me (with tough love) how to play. Let’s just say the evening ended with me throwing my cards down, storming out of the house, and speeding away in my car. Don’t set your kids up for failure. It’s not just a card game but it teaches critical thinking skills and I’m sure a host of other things! Trust me! Its essential to their college life survival!
Parenthood is tough and looks different for everyone! I applaud us all for raising wonderful young adults and doing the best we can with what we have. Regardless of how horrible a job you think you’re doing, just being there for your kiddos means the world to them.
Until next time,
-K
