If you ask me, my answer is yes! Let’s face it, we are gracefully aging and my guess is your relationship is aging too. If you’re not paying attention, your bedroom activities can totally fall into a rut. George and I have designated date nights that keep us on track but if we’re not actively taking that time with each other, these kids and these jobs can really distract you! Just the other day I told him “I think I broke my libido.” He smirked and said “No, you’re fine, it gets like that sometimes, you’ll snap back!” Ever since that discussion I’ve been thinking what could I do to help my snap back during those less motivated times? Like most of us, I’m much better at giving advice than actually doing it myself.
Back in 2015 we put on an event called Transformation Day for my Ladies of Leisure social group. There was food, games, lingerie, and choreography taught to help us feel confident and break out of our shells. Like I said, I’m really good at teaching……. The girls loved every minute of it too. I remember when I was younger and didn’t need all this stuff because hey, my knees were as good as Meghan The Stallion and my breasts stayed up even when the bra came off (laugh out loud). Anyway, I digress. Well, if you’re looking for a few tips to resuscitate your stale bedroom tricks, grab a pen and listen up!
The Element of Surprise
Do not plan this special treat on cliche dates like anniversaries or birthdays. Not even on designated date nights. Pick a random day so whatever you do is truly unexpected and memorable.
Change your Whole Persona
This is the only time he is allowed to sleep with another woman. If you’re playful, be serious. If you’re awkward, be confident. If you’re serious, be playful! Create a great fantasy woman! Some characters that are really easy to create are Nurses, Massage Therapists, and Exotic Dancers because you can create a whole experience that could take you several hours to pull off. My two favorite characters were Nurse (Relaxation Therapist) and Exotic Dancer complete with choreographed dance routine (hey, I’m a perfectionist). Both were tons of fun and I fully committed to those characters.
Create an Experience
Designate a space and plan for your special production! Red light bulbs and up-lighting can transform a room and make whatever you have look amazing. I love lighting because it creates drama even if you change nothing else. You will also want to think about how you want the evening to unfold. What do you see yourself doing? How will you use up your time? Be sure you think this through so you are prepared. I’m a planner and I gain more confidence when I know what’s expected.
Props are Essential
If you’re shy or embarrass easily, think of them as a shield. Wigs, masks, crops, whips, etc. They add to that fantasy persona. If this makes you nervous just thinking about it? Factor in something that comes naturally to you. For example, I can give a foot rub or massage so maybe my scenario is him visiting my Massage Parlor. Another good one is if you enjoy cooking or serving, cook him a meal and serve him in your waitress uniform, then pretend you just can’t get enough of this particular customer. Don’t overthink it, find what you are comfortable doing and base your evening around that. This will give you something to do so you don’t feel awkward. With the right outfit, anything can be sexy.
Look The Part
Don’t half step! Invest in special pieces just because. Lingerie comes in all sizes but be sure you’re comfy and not pulling on yourself all night. Comfort = Confidence. Go all out with your character. Change up your hair with a wig, think about make-up, jewelry, fake tattoos, an accent, anything that will bring your character to life.
Relax!
Do whatever you need to get in the mood and relax. Play your romantic playlist all day, drink a glass of wine or take a shot of bourbon if necessary. Hey, if you need to pray (married folks) or meditate, do that! Remember that the person you’re with adores you in any form. And most important, Have Fun!
Thanks for listening yall! In no way do I profess to be some bedroom guru and I’m still a work in progress myself. I just hope you found some encouragement here to step out of your shell a bit and love the sexy being you are (whatever that may look like).
Until next time,
-K