Happy New Year! We’ve made it to 2022 by the grace of God. I don’t know about you but as I get older, I feel more and more like the serenity prayer! You know the one…..
“God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.”
Yeah, you know that young old feeling! It’s weird because I’m at the age where I can’t just spring up from the bed in the morning, I have to sit for a couple seconds before I get up (she chuckles) but on the other hand, I’ve never felt so willing to attempt something new. I’m headed towards that “women of a certain age” area of life. So, while my 45 years on earth is still VERY young, I’ve managed to learn a few things along the way. Grab a cup of something and join me as I drop a few of my gems to my younger self. Maybe you’ll have some to add!
1. Make God A Part Of The Plan
The quickest way to waste your time is to not include the Lord in your plans. You think I’m kidding? Try it. You will immediately realize if his will is not in your plans, they will continuously crash and burn. Every time.
2. Get A Good Education Early
This will help you land on your feet in so many ways. Don’t take it for granted, definitely while its free and especially if it’s not. The goal is to never stop learning but getting a good foundation before you have life’s adult responsibilities is priceless.
3. Stop Considering Yourself Last
I am happy being a kindhearted, generous, and selfless person, but be careful how you treat yourself. Stop putting your needs last. There will be times when the priority is on someone else but don’t forget about you. 75% of the resentment I carry is a direct result of me putting everything and everyone before myself. Had I said No or Yes, a long time ago, I would feel so much better about saying it now. Speak up for yourself. Make your feelings known and know that they are valid. Because I spent so much time people pleasing and being a “nice” person, I feel guilty when I do choose me first. I’m getting better and better each day though. (wink wink)
4. Develop Confidence And Belief In Yourself
People will constantly flood you with their opinions, point of view, beliefs, dreams, goals, and ideals so you have to be vigilant about setting boundaries, thinking for yourself, and figuring out what’s best for you. As parents, we raise our kids with the best of intentions, but we must remember to teach them how to think independently too. If you were never taught to be confident, then find ways to teach yourself. I’m still amazed at how the lack of confidence still affects certain areas of my life even at 45 years old. Do you know that having a healthy confidence can help in so many areas, friendships, romantic relationships, work relationships? You’d be surprised at how confidence will help you feel secure in who you are and not take everything so personal hence avoiding a lot of unnecessary conflicts. Teach yourself to be content with who you are, strive for better if and when you want to, and the right people will love you regardless.
5. Learn To Be Disciplined Because You Will Not Always Be Motivated
Simply put, I’m still trying to get this baby weight off and my baby is almost 16. You will never wake up motivated every day. You won’t. You have to make a concerted effort to meet your goals. Talking about what you want is a start, but it means nothing if you don’t back it up with effort. Stop looking for that magical spark and create the spark yourself.
6. Mistakes Are Inevitable But Don’t Be A Repeat Offender
Mistakes are how we learn the lessons. Don’t be afraid of them but focus hard to not continuously repeat them. Sometimes you will be faced with the same issue over and over until you learn the lesson. At first it stings but it’s an easy fix, it happens again and you’re like ok, I’ve been here before, I know what to do. Then you continue to be careless, and it happens again, this time it may kick you to rock bottom and its extremely hard to bounce back because apparently, you don’t learn quickly and it’s really trying to teach you a lesson. Don’t be that person. Learn the first time, or even the second time, but please learn. There is a point where mistakes turn into choices.
7. He Will Come
I’ve spent an obscene amount of time trying to impress the wrong people in life. The obvious wrong choice. Only because you grow up thinking you matter if you get married or if someone finds you attractive and wants you. Screw all of that. Love you and he will come. Focus on you and he will come. Live for you and he will come. Then you will be amazed at how happy your relationship is because you are not playing a role and your spouse actually met the real you.
8. Just START
Whatever it is, just start. Just do something. Big steps. Baby steps. Crawl. Lay on your belly on slither. You will never be disappointed if you try. So many times, I’ve been afraid to try only to find out it was so much easier than I thought and that gave me the courage to try again. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of times I have to be dramatic and cry and complain and rest but then I get up and start again. I promise, you will never be disappointed if you just try.
We learned a lot over the past two years, and we were forced to be still, literally, and figuratively so I’ve had a plenty of time to think about things. Take this fresh year as a clean start to conquer something. Whatever that may be.
Until next time,
-K
