Hey everbody! I’ve missed you guys! Feels like I’ve been cheating on my blog with soap. LOLOLOL. Well today’s topic fits right in with this distraction. Way back in my “Marriage Chronicles: Being the Mrs.” blog post circa April 2019, I gave a bit of what I learned from being the Mrs. Well I’m back again and I need your help. What happens when your spouse is needed by everyone and everything else???? This is tricky because we’re not talking about infidelity or negative distractions. We’re talking about dem kids, the jobs, the family, the friends, the hobbies, the house work and anything else takes time away from the two of you when you don’t want it to.

Yes, I’m guilty. I don’t just love him, I still really like my husband and sometimes wish I could take him away and keep him to myself but realistically, all the things that go along with this life we’ve created come nagging. Pulling at him and me everyday, non-stop. Early on in our marriage, when I was still a bit insecure, this used to worry me but one day after a massive argument, he said to me…”if you think its that easy for me to walk out on you, you severely underestimate yourself.” That comment was a game changer because never again did I question whether we would make it. I now know we will. Period. But while we’re making it we still need to make each other feel important and a priority. Well I have a few things I try to do to make things better but would love to hear from you.

1. Be Supportive Even When Its Tough

   In a perfect world, you and your spouse would have tons of time with each other but in real life, when I’m busy and stretched thin the last thing I want to hear is how I’m failing him. Since I don’t enjoy that myself, try to be as supportive as possible, make them feel like you are ok and understand the brief redirection of attention. If its something that is more long term and will be a constant distraction like kids, parents, projects, then look for ways to commit to time with them which leads me to …..

2. Schedule Time Together

   Yes, we have now resorted to penciling in undivided attention. I know, I know. This can’t be happening. Yes, its happening but do me a favor, be sure you commit to it. Don’t half-do it. You owe that to each other. George and I have been slipping lately so I need to dust off some of those SavageX Fenty items and get my Meghan the Stallion knees together.

3. Find Ways To Help

   If possible, do your best to help lighten the load. If you can’t lighten the load ask them how can you best help them. Sometimes helping can be as simple as letting them lay their head on your lap to rest. Just be there.

I know sometimes we have no idea how heavy the load is mentally for each other and something that isn’t heavy for you may not feel the same for them. Listen to what’s not being said.

That’s all I got for now so tell me your tips! I can’t wait to hear from you.

Until next time,

-K